When Everything Feels Too Much

The Journal 

September 2026

 

Sometimes it doesn’t take very much.

A difficult conversation. An unexpected message. Too many things demanding our attention at once. A thought that begins to spiral.

And suddenly, everything feels too much.

Our heart may begin to race. Our breathing becomes faster. Thoughts tumble over one another. We may feel restless, shaky or unable to think clearly.

We all respond in different ways. Some of us may feel an overwhelming urge to escape. Some may simply want to hide away from everything. Others may freeze or find themselves unable to do anything at all.

However it shows up for us, in that moment our system is responding as though something needs our immediate attention.

We may know that breathing, grounding or taking a moment to ourselves could help. But remembering those strategies, let alone putting them into practice, can feel almost impossible.

There is a reason for that.

 

When the Body Senses Danger

Our nervous system is continually responding to information from within us and around us.

When something is perceived as threatening, the body can rapidly prepare us to respond. Our heart rate may increase. Muscles tense. Attention narrows. Breathing often becomes quicker and shallower as the body prepares for action.

This is part of our natural survival response, commonly described as fight, flight or freeze.

And it has an important purpose.

If we were facing immediate danger, we would want our body to react quickly rather than spend several minutes considering the available options.

The difficulty is that the same system can be activated when the danger isn’t so immediate.

An argument. A deadline. Financial worries. An upsetting email. Too much noise or stimulation. A memory. Uncertainty. Several seemingly small things accumulating until one more thing becomes too much.

Whatever has brought us there, in that moment the sense of threat can feel very real.

Our whole system can become caught up in the experience, making it difficult to access the calm and perspective we might have at other times.

This is why it can be so difficult to find our way out of panic or overwhelm once we’re in it.

But there are ways we can begin to support ourselves.

And one of the simplest places to start is with something that is always with us: our breath.

 

Coming Back to the Breath

When we become panicked or overwhelmed, our breathing can become fast and shallow. And the sensations accompanying this change can themselves become unsettling, adding to the feeling that something is wrong.

But our breathing is unusual because it happens automatically while also being something we can consciously influence.

We can notice it.

We can begin to slow it down.

We can take a gentle, comfortable breath and allow the exhale to become a little longer.

As our breathing becomes steadier, we may begin to interrupt the escalating cycle of panic and give our nervous system an opportunity to settle.

We don’t need to force ourselves to take enormous breaths or make anything happen immediately.

We are simply beginning to reconnect.

One breath.

And then another.

Your breath can become a bridge between the emergency your body is experiencing and the steadiness you are beginning to rediscover.

 

Reminding Ourselves Where We Are

Grounding offers another way to reconnect with the present moment.

When we feel overwhelmed, our attention can become consumed by whatever is causing distress. Our thoughts may race ahead into imagined possibilities, or we may become caught up in uncomfortable sensations within the body.

Grounding helps us bring our attention back to what is happening here and now.

Feel your feet against the floor.

Notice the support of the chair beneath you.

Look around the room.

Notice what you can see, hear and feel.

Feel the air entering and leaving your body.

These simple actions can help us reconnect with our surroundings and find a little more space around what we’re experiencing.

Language can help too.

A simple phrase such as:

I am safe in this moment.

There is no complicated affirmation to remember. No argument with what you’re experiencing.

It is simply a gentle reminder, when it reflects your present circumstances.

I am here.

I am breathing.

I am safe in this moment.

We begin giving ourselves something steady to return to.

And gradually, we may begin to feel a little more grounded.

 

The Problem With Strategies

There is, however, an obvious problem.

Most of us already know at least some of this.

We know breathing can help. We know about grounding. We may have meditated, practised yoga, learnt relaxation techniques or developed our own ways of finding calm.

And then the moment arrives when we actually need them…

And every strategy seems to disappear from our mind.

When we are deeply overwhelmed, our attention has already narrowed towards whatever our system believes needs our immediate attention.

The part of us that remembers our carefully assembled wellbeing toolkit may not be particularly accessible.

So perhaps the solution isn’t expecting ourselves to remember better.

Perhaps we need to make remembering easier.

 

Prepare Before You Need It

Prepare for the overwhelmed version of you while you are the regulated version of you.

When we’re feeling calm and grounded, we have an opportunity to recognise the things that help us return to that state when life becomes overwhelming.

And those things will be different for everyone.

For some, it might be listening to a favourite playlist, taking a warm bath or creating a peaceful atmosphere with candles and lavender.

Others might enjoy going for a run, visiting the gym, swimming, practising yoga, dancing or taking a walk.

Perhaps it’s a cup of chamomile tea, a favourite nourishing meal or spending time in nature.

Some may find comfort in calling a trusted friend and talking things through, while others may enjoy spending some quiet time alone.

We’re all different, and the things that help us feel calmer, more grounded and supported will be different too.

What helps us one day might be quite different from what we need on another.

The important thing is to begin recognising what works for us, so that when life becomes overwhelming, we have familiar ways of supporting ourselves.

And once we begin recognising those things, we can make them easier to access.

Create a calming playlist on your phone so it’s ready whenever you need it.

Keep some chamomile tea in the cupboard.

Have your favourite essential oil somewhere convenient.

Create a little space in your home where you can retreat when everything feels too much.

And perhaps most importantly, leave yourself reminders.

A note on your laptop:

SLOW DOWN. TAKE A GENTLE BREATH.

A message on your phone:

I am safe in this moment.

A Post-it on the bathroom mirror reminding you to pause, breathe and reconnect.

These little reminders can be surprisingly valuable because, when we’re overwhelmed, we don’t always remember the things that help us.

The reminder itself can become an interruption.

A little signpost pointing us towards a familiar pathway back to ourselves.

And we don’t have to wait until an emergency to practise.

Come back to your breath while making tea.

Feel your feet on the ground while waiting for a train.

Notice your surroundings while walking.

Take a few moments to listen to your favourite calming music.

The more familiar these practices become, the easier they may be to remember when we really need them.

We aren’t only creating strategies for emergencies.

We are learning to recognise what supports our own nervous system and creating a life in which those things are more readily available.

 

Meeting Rather Than Fighting

There is another important distinction.

Regulation isn’t about suppressing what we’re feeling.

If fear, panic or overwhelm is moving through us, we don’t need to make it wrong. We don’t need to become frustrated with ourselves because we’re experiencing it. And we don’t need to demand that it disappear immediately.

We can begin to meet ourselves within the experience.

Notice what is happening.

Reconnect with the breath.

Feel the body.

Orient ourselves to the present.

Offer ourselves a reassuring reminder.

And allow the system the opportunity to settle in its own way.

Sometimes that happens quickly.

Sometimes it takes longer.

The aim isn’t to perform calmness perfectly.

It is simply to begin finding our way back.

And when we begin to feel more settled, there may also be an opportunity to explore what we’ve experienced.

Rather than simply moving on, we might gently ask ourselves:

What was happening for me?

What might my body be trying to communicate?

Is there something here that needs my attention?

What can I learn from this experience?

We don’t need to have all the answers. Sometimes there may be something deeper to explore, while at other times we may simply have reached the limits of what our system could manage in that moment.

The invitation is to become curious about our experiences, with kindness and compassion, so that we can begin to understand ourselves more deeply.

 

The Pathway Home

There will always be moments when life feels like too much.

We cannot control every conversation, every piece of news, every unexpected change or every response that moves through our body.

But we can begin creating pathways that help us return.

To the breath.

To the body.

To this moment.

To ourselves.

And perhaps the most empowering thing we can do is create those pathways before we need them.

So that somewhere in the middle of the noise, the racing thoughts or the overwhelm, there is something waiting for us.

A reminder on a screen.

A note beside the bed.

A meditation within easy reach.

A simple invitation:

Come back to yourself.